Remove yourself from any and every situation where you are tolerated and not celebrated. If you "can’t leave" right now, plan on it. People may just be tolerating you for what you can do for them. How do you know that you are tolerated? Simply…you don’t feel grace with them. You might work with them or go to school with them. There may be one specific person that you are constantly needing validation from. They stick around for what you can do for them. If there is something to benefit you then you might consider working something out so that feelings are more manageable for both parties. It is not healthy to go day in and day out constantly surrounded by people who don't like you. One person that does not like you can make you feel like the whole world does not like you. You deserve to be loved. Sometimes hatred or indifference is disguised as simply just not being celebratory. You should have people around you that are jumping around for joy at your arrival and in your presence. Those people are not always going to be there, but there is potential for them to be there. Do not lose hope in forming a network of people around you that love you. Jesus will always love you.
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You Deserve More
Your value is greater than silver, gold, or platinum. Your value is greater than a 1 billion dollar mansion. A lot of kids have dreams growing up. They think that they will be in a career by a certain time as an adult. They get to adulthood and their situation may change. Sometimes people realize their dreams are harder to reach than they once seemed. They realize this when they graduate high school or when they graduate college with student loans. They might even realize that happiness from their chosen career is harder to come by after they have already settled in. There is always a constant pursuit of happiness. Sometimes people get to where they want to be and they realize that they want more or that they are bored of what they are doing. Sometimes a dream is not God’s plan and God’s purpose for you. Maybe you are supposed to be somewhere at a specific point in time. At a specific date you may be the one to tell somebody something that will be life-altering for them. It’s not just you in the world even if you feel alone. There are a lot of other factors involved. There are a lot of other people involved in your life whether you know it or not. You are an influence on people whether you know them or not. You could feel like you are only an innocent bystander and a Superwoman looked at you before she save the day. You saved our day. Don’t settle in a job that you are not happy and fulfilled in. Push yourself to your limit. When God says go you go. Hunger ain’t nuting but a ting. Travel ain’t nothing but your pinky ring. Sweat is a minor detour. Tangles make you explore. If there are no friends in your life get it together girl. Be a friend to somebody and don’t be shy about it. Do not be ashamed. Try saying “I deserve more. I deserve my freedom and I deserve to live in my purpose. I deserve to be happy.” The only way you truly deserve these things is if you treat people right with respect and regard. For your conscience to be clear you need to give your sins to the Lord completely and wholeheartedly. Know that you are forgiven and loved. You are indeed blessed. When you come into your blessing people will look at you and they’ll ask themselves “How did she get to deserve that and how is it possible that she was able to find true happiness?” They will look for your smile and not your material possessions if they are wise. Only the individual person whether they are a celebrity or not knows if they are truly happy. You deserve more. Create a vision board. Paste pictures that you like and inspirational sayings that make you dream. If you see it every day eventually it will become your reality if you are open to receiving from God. The dreams that you are forming make you push forward. The happiness you picture to have in your life is attainable. Don't get it twisted. Joy comes from the Lord. Purpose Over Marriage If “The One” does not find you. So What? He cannot fulfill your lifes purpose for you. Marry when it’s right or remain in bondage. Society tells little girls that when they get out of college they will attract their true love and get married. This cookie cutter picture of happiness is not always the case for everyone. With the pressure of time and societal norms women and men feel pressured to find love within a certain time period. Then they choose people that are not truly right for them. They go against their gut feelings and end up in divorce because their “true love” was not loyal or they were not loyal to the vision God has placed within them. They take things too fast and would do anything to feel loved by another. They resort with trying to change their boyfriends and girlfriends. It is good to be a positive influence and better your spouse. It is not good to pressure them into doing tasks that they don’t want to do. If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like baking pies and maybe you love to bake pies, bake your own pies. If your loved one continuously complains about baking pies after trying it with you eventually it just won’t work out if baking pies is your passion. If you always try to force people to change for you, you both get exhausted. You need to have a lot in common with your spouse so that you will have maximum happiness in your relationship. You don’t want your spouse to associate you with that task they hate doing. It’s okay to like different stuff, but you need to meet in the middle and have common grounds. Loving someone is about compromising to make them happy, but don’t compromise your character and your own happiness. Don’t compromise the healthy things you love to do. Find a spouse who you can stay happy with. Often times what makes you happy is related to your lifes purpose. This scenario is not an all the time thing, but what people are good at they often end up doing repetitively and consistently their whole life. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cannot handle your passion and all that comes with it you may be in trouble. They need to adapt to your needs and you need to adapt to theirs. Relationships are about growing with that special person. If you are with someone who does not support your goals and ambitions you should ask yourself why? They should not get in the way of you using your talents and gifts for the good of the world. If you feel the need to step into your destiny your loved one needs to be down for you and down for the cause. God will remove that person from your life if you are not leading the life He has called you to live. God has put special gifts and talents within you that only you have access to claim. But does your spouse see the vision like you can? Maybe your spouse doesn’t see the vision as much as you do, but supports you in every way. That is the kind of character trait you need to look for in a future spouse. You don’t need to be in a relationship someone that you are afraid to communicate with. Ask for true love and have no problem showing it. Work out your trust issues before you get into a relationship and trust the person you are with. If either one of you are broken people your heart will have a crack in it. Ask God to lead your life. If women and men had looked to God first before choosing their mates, they would be better off. If they had asked God to show them both a true sign before getting together, their marriage would be the most blessed. If God is the leader of your life in everything else, why can’t He lead your life in what fiancé you are supposed to have? You should not fear the future in a way that makes you choose wrong. Why are you confused when the answer is as clear as day? Love is bigger than marriage. God is calling you to love every human you come in contact with and it’s not to have people all to yourself. Your soulmate is 1 in a billion and you keep stressing about one who is not right for you. You want to have children someday and you would make a great mother but you are 30 years old or whatever age that gives you stress about not having children by then. You know that marriage is the road to children. You are so stressed out about when God is going to send you “Mr. Right” that you start to see and convince yourself that “Mr. Wrong” is “Mr. Right”. You become desperate for a man. You think a marriage and a family will cure your anxiety and depression. You need to see children for what they are. They are underdeveloped people. They are precious, fragile people with purpose just as you. Yes, God gives you the ability to have children and children are a gift from God. They are souls just as you that come here by your womb, but they are not you. You don’t have Gods permission to have a child outside of a marriage. Have one outside the security of a marriage and delay your destiny. Having children the fast way and having sex without marriage is delaying your destiny. Men, women, and children lose their honor every day because sex is a sacred gift from God that should be used in a marriage. Having sex doesn’t make you a man and having children doesn’t make you a woman. God put our souls here for so many different reasons. You ought to enjoy life more as a single person and pray for your future spouse. Pray for blessings in your current family. Pray for the people around you. Be grateful for the gifts of life that God has given you whether that be your breath or your childs heartbeat. Break the cycle. Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of poverty? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of children without fathers or mothers? Have you ever heard of breaking the cycle of abusive behaviors in relationships? Breaking the cycle of depression? Breaking that cycle starts with you and the behaviors you are going to have. It starts with asking the Holy Spirit to come into your life. It starts with listening to that inner voice that tells you what you need to do. It does not start with going against the Holy Spirit for your fleshly desires and carnal minds. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you to instill peace, security, and love in your mind so you can give it to others. You should not listen to fear when fear tells you that you will never be married. Fear tells you that you are never going to have children or a man who loves you for you. Every void and every sense of failure that you feel, you need to give it to God. Have faith in the Lord. Your needs will be met. Every sense of not being good enough and every sense of obsession over feeling in love should be broken. Focus on positivity and being around people who you can put before yourself through true love. Make your heart available to receive genuine love. Place yourself in settings that make you feel peaceful around humans. Be around like-minded individuals who are eager to grow. You may be surprised by how God blesses you. He works in mysterious ways. Put On Your Positive Pants
I asked my Curlfriend Amber what she would like to share with the world and she said "Put on your Positive Pants". I thought that was genius. It is a great quality to have when faced with uncertainty and doubt. Girls, when you feel like your stuck in a continuous cycle “Put on your positive pants.” When you feel like you’ve hit a wall “Put on your positive pants.” When you feel down and confused “Put on your positive pants.” When you’ve lost your direction “Put on your positive pants.” You don’t have to be a Negative Nellie. Sometimes people complain and make the excuse that they haven’t had their coffee in the morning. It is not nice to pass around bad energy just because you feel like it. Your negativity passes to other people and they may feel hurt because you didn’t smile back at them when they smiled at you. When faced with negative outcomes try to look at the positive side of the situation and distract yourself from thinking about negativity. It’s okay to grieve, but don’t keep it in your system too long. Practice thinking happy and positive thoughts on purpose and your mind will have them easily. Seek to be around positive people to keep your mind motivated and healthy. Refrain from complaining too much and saying the same negativity over and over. When you speak light to other peoples listening ears, they will feel happy to be around you. It’s okay to express your emotions, but when you are always negative and sad all the time, you have to question “who am I around that is a bother? Is it something that I can change about myself?” If it is someone who you need in your life that is making you sad, maybe you can flip the script and speak positivity on purpose until they catch on. You are not your emotions. You are not how you feel. Find your positive and “Put on your positive pants.” |
Author & IllustratorHi, I'm CurlyDollTati! Nice for you to join me. I am an illustrator from Southern California. My love for illustration was encouraged by many throughout my life. I was especially encouraged by my single mother who's nickname is Dolly. Growing up I had a love for fashion illustration. CurlyDollTati is a representation of me...Tatiana..and the vision that I have to create a world of diversity in art. Here all races of women can come together to celebrate what makes us unique. We can uplift each other. I can share my art, my experiences, and your story too. Email me at [email protected] Archives
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